Prostitute logic of the working stiff

yitch
4 min readJan 27, 2017

--

I think at some point of time, we sit at our work desk and wonder

  • What the fuck it is that we are doing, day in, day out?
  • How the hell are we contributing to make the world a better place?
  • Why are there always people I dread working with?

Mostly we work for payday and putting food on the table and a shelter over our heads.

I honestly doubt many of us have ambitions or dreams anymore. Most of us who have signed up to corporate slavery are no better than prostitutes, no disrespect to sex workers but we do things we do not want to for a pittance. Middle management whom I’ve worked with over the years tell me we tend to be prostitutes: smile at everyone, stick up your ass and take it all in and make sure every paying person gets a happy ending (in most corporate situations that’s both internal and external customers).

Going back to the questions.

“What the fuck it is that we are doing, day in, day out?”

I think most days are broken down into:

  • Answering emails (you will be replaced by a bot)
  • Answering phone calls (you will be replaced by a bot)
  • Sitting in meetings (no bots will not replace you, but that begs a whole new question of what the fuck are the meetings for?)
  • Excel manipulation (you will be replaced by a bot in 5 years)
  • Powerpoint manipulation (you will be replaced by a bot in 7 years)
  • Sucking up (A bot cannot replace you)

That begs the next question:

“How the hell are we contributing to make the world a better place?”

Honestly, I don’t know anymore. Most of us spend 16 years of our lives getting multiple pieces of paper to prove that we know something (degrees). Get a job to get even more pieces of papers, endorsed by others that we definitely know something (certifications) and yet somehow, it doesn’t amount to anything. I remember as a kid, I dreamed of being a scientist, because I would invent the next breakthrough to take us through interstellar travel. Nowadays, my only dream is to not be called up on weekends with last minute requests. Seriously, what the fuck happened? Could a decade kill dreams so quickly? Is society setup to just manufacture cogs to fit and replace other cogs? Honestly, we are as disposable as the prostitutes who are all dried up and kicked out onto the streets once we no longer serve our purpose. Are all the emails, calls, excels, powerpoints and meetings leading to a cure for cancer or minimally pad the bottom line of the corporation and contribute to economic growth?

Charlie Chaplin’s Modern Times

“Why are there always people I dread working with?”

I just chalk this up to my misanthropy. Frankly, I doubt they enjoy working with me as well haha.

I don’t think it’s too late to stop, take a deep breath and go back to dreams. I don’t think it’s too late to stand up from the sea of desks and stand on your table and scream “O captain my captain!”

Dead Poets Society (Or possibly MTV for yet another boy band of the 90s)

Putting food on the table is merely a means to an end, though I would hate to have wasted decades of resources to have nothing on my headstone more than the same boring epitaph of “Joe Average — Corporate Stiff, Excel Expert”. I think it would be cool to have died and left on a note where

  • You managed to reduce poverty in developing nations by 15% instead of financially engineering projects to jump 15%
  • You created jobs for the masses and helped them stay in their jobs by training them and not threaten them to save your own hide
  • You help move people from the Earth to Mars and not numbers from one cell to the next

Let’s all die like this dude below and leave something for future generations to enjoy and deface :)

Oscar Wilde’s Grave

--

--

yitch
yitch

Written by yitch

If you are enjoy a laugh at the expense of our corporate overlords, I hope my sense of humour is the cause

No responses yet